"Each of us answered the call to serve for different reasons. Many of us who choose to stay in the military do so for one reason -- the people."

-- Lt. Col. Paul Wade

Those are the words [as closely as I could remember them] of my commander at the memorial service for my friend and fellow NCO on Friday. I've belonged to many organizations over the years, from volunteer fire departments to churches to Boy Scout troops to high school sports teams. You bond with individuals in any group you belong to, but the closest bonds by far have been with those I've worked with in the Air Force. I'm devastated right now.

My buddy died from a gun shot wound, apparently self-inflicted. Without knowing what the investigators know, it's hard to image that he took his own life just a few hours after our last shift together. However, I understand that with any suicide comes the inevitable bouts of disbelief and denial. I don't know what happened the other night, and it's possible I never will.

Right now, it just kind of hurts.